I?

Am I not exiled from myself?
And exiled by what?
By bluegluebloomplumeglumglutz?
I see myself coming through the early morning mists of insomnia
I see myself laughing at myself
(I don't know what I was laughing at
I and me are estranged siblings -
They have grown cold and distant -
They don't share jokes)
at a joke that I cannot fathom.
I see myself sad, confused, dazed.
From a distance.
I can never touch
He
Who might be me.
We have not been in love
for a long time.
Alas, I am free.